How sub-editors do graffiti

Watch out, bag

Every morning I walk past a pub that has a sign in the window saying:

Warning! Random bag searches are being carried out.

And it always makes me snigger.

World Cup worries

Alert, alert, all ye football haters, avoiders and ignorers. The season is upon us and there is no escaping it. For those of you out there who combine a love of language with a love of sport: congratulations. For me, there are few things I would less like to read about, let alone sub. However, we must rise to the challenge! We must overcome! Even in the shadowy world of grocery, it's already getting a bit black, white and hexagonal and its only just beginning.

I've already been caught out once, for a feature ending "whoever ends up lifting the Jules Rimet trophy, you can be sure..." Fortuitously, I had asked someone who does know football to proof it after me - and whaddaya know, the Jules Rimet trophy was given to Brazil in 1970 and the current one is actually a replica that goes by the name of the FIFA World Cup trophy. Nice save!

Footballers' names are also a perilous area. In copy this week, we had Frank Ribery, Stephen Pienaar, Rafael Marquez and Diego Forlan. It should be Franck Ribéry, Steven Pienaar, Rafael Márquez and Diego Forlán (who plays for Atlético Madrid, not Atletico Madrid). Spot the difference.

Readers, my message is this. Although the sight of a page sprinkled with football-related copy may put you in a mind to drop into a deep coma, resist! Thataway lies chaos...

Marketing gold?!

Oh marketing people, bless your little cotton socks but you're a nasty lot. Did you ever consider us poor grocery-bound sub-editors when you named this new ice cream? Hmm? It's a Magnum. And it's gold. So to call it Magnum Gold would have been just fine. Just fine and dandy.*

So what was with the '?!', hmm? See, even just to write that sentence, I had to add a 'hmm' so that my question mark would not butt up against your crazy question-and-exclamation-mark combo (and still I sweated about the comma).

Anyone writing about this product looks damn crazy. Witness:

Unilever is combining a bit of rough with the smooth, as Wolfman star Benicio del Toro replaces Eva Longoria as the face – and eyebrows – of Magnum Gold?!

Yes, it looks as though the reporter either can't quite believe what he or she is writing, or is a little deranged. As a sub-editor, I just couldn't take it: this esteemed publication will be docking you of your '?!' in copy. Now I suggest [wagging finger] you go and have a long think about what you've done!

*Having just done a Google image search for 'Magnum Gold', I wonder if Unilever knew how outnumbered the ice cream would be by horses and guns...

Oh, those cheeky prepositions!

Well I brought this upon myself and I won't pretend otherwise.
I asked for questions – and boy, did I get them.

Young Mr Ball at the Bureau of Investigative Hackery twittered gleefully: 'Tackle with/from/of. I know it's "bored with" but "died of"? "died from"? "made of"? HELP.'

Well Mr Ball, the main thing to say is that it's a big sticky mess – but you knew that already. So here goes. Perhaps not my wittiest ever post, but I hope it is at least useful to some.

I'm going for the 'made of/with/from' chestnut first, as it's one that has been gently bothering me for a while. I couldn't find a nice clean guide on this anywhere, so I have racked my brains (yes, I believe it is racked, not wracked) and come up with a working model. Well, it works for me, anyway... but I am certainly open to being further enlightened.

• Use made of if the material retains its original properties: "the chair is made of wood."
• Use made from if the material's original properties have changed: "paper is made from wood."
• Use made with to describe an addition to usual components – "Battenburg cake is made with ground almonds." (I can't think of any non-cooking example of when you would use this.)

'Die' was an easy one. Nice simple explanation in the OED:

die
the normal constructions are to die of (a malady, hunger, old age, etc) or to die from ( a wound, inattention, etc).

Anyone bored yet? And if so, are you bored with me, by me, or of me, you ungrateful beasts? If it's the third, you have a regrettable tendency, so read on! According to Fowler's:

bore
The normal constructions are with with or with by: they were bored with being left alone in the country; he became bored with Patrick; they were bored by the party political broadcasts. A regrettable tendency has emerged in recent years to construe the verb with of.

And then there's the old favourite, compare. It is almost always written as compared to, but almost always should be compared with. The former is only used to describe similarity, whereas the latter is used for contrasts and, well, comparisons.

Even The Times and the Guardian style guides agree:

The Times:
compare with/to compare with (the more common use) when differences or contrasts are the point - “compare the saints with the devils” or “compared with last year's figures” etc; compare to for likenesses - “compare this image to a damsel fair”

Guardian:
compare to/with
The former means liken to, the latter means make a comparison: so unless you are specifically likening someone or something to someone or something else (eg Nothing Compares 2 U), use compare with. A former lord chancellor compared himself to Cardinal Wolsey because he believed he was like Wolsey; I might compare him with Wolsey to assess their relative merits

Ah, but that's not the end of the story. There are more. Different from/to (not than, please), scared of/by... But surely, that's enough for one day.

Pegging away

Substuff is currently investigating: made from/with/of, died with/of and bored with/of, etc. And dealing with having five working days squashed into four both this week and next. But I'm on it!

Check out the byline

And for all those unbelievers who think it's not a real name, the link is here.

(My apologies to Mr Boyes.)


Thanks to @badjournalism on Twitter for this!

Art desk in teaching-subs-a-word shocker!

Brace yourselves.

A brace, as a collective noun, does not mean what I thought it did.

It is one of those words that has hovered on the periphery of my consciousness, never needing to be written or spoken (or looked up), just casually absorbed on occasion. I'd heard "a brace of pheasants" and suchlike and assigned it a vague meaning of 'several'.

Wrong!

Upon hearing the phrase "a brace of c***s" used to describe two, ahem, football players, I enquired as to the meaning and was told it meant 'two'. It is often used in sports commentary, apparently.

To the OED I went – and I tip my hat. Indeed it does mean two, or, more specifically, a pair.

brace:
a pair of something, typically of birds or mammals killed in hunting

Mozzarella on that cocktail?

Ah, how often I read of margarita pizzas. Now, I like dough. And I have big love for tomato and mozzarella. And I'm even partial to a little tequila and Cointreau set off with freshly squeezed lime. But I can't help but think they'd make an awfully soggy mess combined.

Better that, though, than posing in a swanky bar in your best dress, sipping on a margherita all sexy like, cheese stringing resplendently between your lips and the glass.

So, just to spell it right out...

A margarita is a refreshing cocktail made with* tequila, Cointreau and lime juice.

A margherita is a tomato, mozzarella and basil pizza (named after the Italian queen Margherita of Savoy, don't you know).

Thinking about it, I'd quite enjoy a margherita accompanied by a margarita. Right now. Preferably served by a lady called Margaret.


* Made with? Made of? Made from? Watch this space...

Oh the shame...

Well you try to do a good thing. Pfft.

With the news team understaffed and the subs desk undersupplied with copy, I agreed to write a story. Now, when I write, I don't think in the same way as when I sub. I try to write nicely, but I don't pore over the details in the same way - I know it's going to be edited and I trust those who are going to do the editing. Feel free to read the two sentences preceding this one as what they are: excuses.

I committed what is pretty much a capital offence in our office.

I spelled Procter & Gamble wrong.

Much hectoring from Hegarty & Co.

Time for seppuku.

Love life advice

If you run out of human possibilities, you need to get proactive. Neigh!

Apologies to Telegraph.co.uk for picking on it twice in one week. I couldn't resist...

Just to clarify, this is Charlotte Martin, who is looking for a farmer to love. Not a horse. Read all about it.

Future of News meeting

I'm off to an event held by the Brighton Future of News group tonight. Web designer and developer Richard Pope will be giving a speech on web activity surrounding the upcoming election. It's at 7.30pm at The Skiff and the link is here, should anyone be interested.

There are also other similar groups around the UK, links here.

Telegraph gets sexy with science!

Ah, the Hardon Collider!

(I saw it on Twitter, so it must be true)

Data analysts: love 'em

Hold on to your hats, folks, here's some smokin' hot news about barbecues.

"The BBQ is a summer event, which is enjoyed by younger families and a third of the time with friends or relatives. Enjoyment is a primary need for having BBQ food (77%), this manifests itself through social entertaining, creating favourites and treating needs. New occasions in the last year were more about treating and creating special occasions than social entertaining or habit."

Those of you who thought it was a winter hobby best enjoyed alone and with only a small necessity for food, you were wrong!

Is cod a species or a specie?

That was the question the fresh desk threw at the subs desk amid the sweat and blood of press day. The senior reporter had been admonished at a fishy convention for using the word 'species' in the singular.

Having always used 'species' for both singular and plural uses, I began to sweat/glow slightly from the palms at this question. But the OED's response warmed my subby little heart.

Not only were the fresh desk and the subs desk victorious in their rightness (I was right, right, RIGHT I tell you), but the fish man was wrong. Terribly wrong. Mwah ha haaaa.

specie:
(mass noun)
money in the form of coins rather than notes

species:
noun (pl same)
a group of living organisms consisting of similar individuals capable of exchanging genes or interbreeding

So unless we are talking about cod coins, we'll stick with 'species' thank you ever so.

What a difference a comma makes

Here's a sentence for you:

Although Nina was released without charge by the police less than a week later she received a letter from a civil recovery firm demanding the princely sum of £137.50.

So, when was Nina released? And when did she receive the letter? Did she spend a week in jail?

Having checked, I have changed it to:

Although Nina was released without charge by the police later that day, less than a week later she received a letter from a civil recovery firm demanding the princely sum of £137.50.

When headlines go bad

John McIntyre posted the following headlines on his blog today, under the apt title of Maybe hire a copy editor:

Yahoo News headline: Women, girls rape victims in Haiti quake

Comment on CNN screen crawl: Jewish lobby runs America

MSNBC: I-Team: Judge Married Woman, suspected Abuser

WJZ-TV: Man Arrested For Sexual Assault On College Campus

Reuters: BOJ split vote raises doubts about future easing

CNBC: End of Mortgage Buys Form of Tightening: Pimco

To read more of his You Don't Say blog, click here: http://johnemcintyre.blogspot.com/

Today, I am councillor

According to my horoscope, all those of the Capricorn persuasion should act as councillors to their friends today. So come on pals, bring me your parking woes and submit to me petitions against strip clubs.

(I know you know, but they meant to say 'counsellor'.)

James's apostrophe

Once upon a wine-fuelled Friday night, I was called on to settle an old score between two friends. One, let's call him Dave, insisted that James's name, in the possessive, should be spelt exactly thus. James, on the other hand, maintained that he needed no s and that the apostrophe should stand alone: James'.

I said that I thought it went on pronunciation: so in this case, James's, but in the case of a name where the extra 'iz' is not pronounced (frustratingly I couldn't think of a good example), the final s would be omitted. But then I got slightly confused because I knew there was some different rule about Jesus, which I couldn't put my finger on.

Today, I have gone to the authorities and I can declare Dave victorious.

Fowler's says:

Use 's for the possessive case in English names and surnames whenever possible; ie in all monosyllables and disyllables, and in longer words accented on the penult, as Burns's, Charles's, Cousins's, Dickens's, Hicks's, St James's Square, Thomas's, Zacharius's. It is customary, however, to omit the 's when the last syllable of the name is pronounced /-IZ/, as in Bridges', Moses'. Jesus' is also an acceptable liturgical archaism.

The Guardian's style guide says, succinctly:

Words ending in -s use use -s's (Dickens's house): for plurals, use -s'.

And The Times's (yes, s's) says:

With proper names/nouns ending in s that are singular, follow the rule of writing what is voiced, eg, Keats's poetry, Sobers's batting, The Times's style (or Times style); and with names where the final “s” is soft, use the “s” apostrophe, eg, Rabelais' writings, Delors' presidency; plurals follow normal form, as Lehman Brothers' loss etc
Note that with Greek names of more than one syllable that end in "s", generally do not use the apostrophe "s", eg, Aristophanes' plays, Achilles' heel, Socrates' life, Archimedes' principle; but note Jesus's (not Jesus') parables.

Jesus, I note, is torn. He gets away with no s in Fowler's, but is commanded to take one by The Times. James, however, is well and truly decided. Take your apostrophe and your s, sir - and we shall have no head-kicking in response, thank you very much.

Cheeky Metro headline

Tucked away on a little story about a study finding acupuncture doesn't help with fertility:

"A prick that won't get you pregnant"

Lovely stuff.