In tests, the chosen variants showed high reach, and frequency in addition to incremental occasions, while also showing a low level of self-cannibalisation.Now I know what they mean... but when you are trying to sell your tasty new snack, surely anything that conjures up an image of gnawing at one's own flesh should be avoided?
It continues:
Our consumers are living in a time-starved world and are constantly balancing the value from their time.Time-starved, eh? All the more reason to... eat a chocolate bar?
And more:
We exist to make you smile, so we’ve made a new range of products of even more of the delicious ingredients you love added in.And there was me thinking it was all about money. Ahh, but it's smiles! Love it.
Oh. And. Note to self. It is programme. Programme. No skimping on the m and the e! Program is for Americans. Programme for us Brits. Unless we are talking computer programs, in which case we come over all a bit yankee. But otherwise, programme, programme, programme!
On the subject of companies existing merely to make consumers Smile, I think it is high time, in your excellent blog, to discuss what is behind this Smiling: that is, Passion. The grocery industry exists in a permanent state of Passionate creation of products to incite Passion. Personally I hunger to have the word banned. Is that possible? Can you build into style a height-of-emotion gauge that has to reach a certain level before an emotive noun or adjective can be used accurately? Just how Passionate are people about chocolate bars or such?
ReplyDeletePS: are the capital Ps annoying you?
PPS: was going to include three dots in above but am scared...
Just found this blog - via the horny-handed subs of toil Facebook group, should you care. And you should.
ReplyDeleteLove it. Will visit again. And I don't say that to *all* the bloggers. Actually, I hardly say it to any of them. That's because this is a written medium and one can't speak to it unless one wants to look a total tit.
Hi Laura, thanks for your comment! I'm glad you liked it - and I do care. In fact, I care Passionately, despite Mustafa's protestations. Please do come back. :-)
ReplyDeleteI don't know about Smile - for me it's more like Grimace. The company does not create a smile but rather the ingredients push the right buttons to induce a feeling of wellbeing. The consumer is not concerned with anything other than personal pleasure but surely only a fool would believe the company has any other motive but profit. Besides, who cares - you pays yer money and enjoy the Passion ...
ReplyDeleteThis particular press release made me want to commit a few specific acts of violence towards the PR concerned – especially as it's not the first time she's committed such horrors to email.
ReplyDeleteHowever, she does seem to have discovered the world is running out of time, which if true is a sufficiently grave issue to take priority for all of us.
And (yes, I'm starting a sentence with 'and'. Hah.) in fairness, it's obvious that many of us would stuff our faces with hundreds more chocolate bars a year if only we felt it was worth our time. Sticking some toffee apples into the product will obviously make it worth everyone's time.
Unless we self-cannibalize instead, of course.